Wednesday, March 31, 2010


In an attempt to keep my finger on the pop-pulse that is American culture, I read "Twilight". I would have liked this book too, if I was in junior high, but I am not. I am over fifty and while I can see why adolescents like this stuff, I don't get grown women going nuts over this Edward guy. I had a lot of boyfriends like Edward back the day but we didn't call them vampires. They were good-looking guys who are always there for you but never, ever tried to have sex with you. We called them "homosexuals". (Props to Edward for originality on the the whole "...if you have sex with me it will kill you bit". What a way to keep them coming back for more!) Everybody is just so happy about the lack of sex in "Twilight". Huh? The whole stupid book is about sex, even if it is just about NOT having sex. Here is the deal, and I hate to break it to people my age, but back in the day y'all were a bunch of slut bunnies. That's right I said it. It was the 70's for gawd's sake. Even though I get that you are all worried that your teenager will come home either knocked-up (or is the knocker-upper) young people are obsessed with sex and you were too. Otherwise YOUR CHILDREN WOULDN'T BE HERE. Don't look at me like this crap didn't go on in "your day" because y'all have developed amnesia about how much sex and drugs you did. Your children will be obsessed with sex because you were too. It's biology, survival of the fittest. It's how we are hardwired. Don't get mad at me just because I am child-free and willing to tell the truth. I'm not telling your kids to run out and have sex, but to hope they aren't thinking about it is just shear foolishness. Hell, I used to have so many hormones bouncing around I don't think I had a clear thought until after I my hysterectomy. Just because you are now aware of the absolute foolishness your hormones may have or could have wrought, don't act like y'all are a bunch of vestal virgins. To use a metaphor from the book it isn't just vampires who play with lightening.


  1. Vampire stories always have a sexual undertones and in some it is overtones! You should have heard the audience gasp when Jacob tore off his shirt in the 2nd movie. Granted he is beautiful, but it was just funny. For me the books have been something that my teenager and I have been able to talk about. And it gives us opportunities to talk about other things. Of course I'm a long time vampire fan, even if the story is a little fluffy, I always enjoy a good twist on vampire lore.

  2. True, but I don't get some of the cougar contingent going NUTS over these books. There are some grown women out there who are relating a little too well Bella and it is kind of creepy.