Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I only watched the reports from the red carpet part of the "Golden Globes" this year. It's true, all I truly give a shit about are the clothes. I go that deep in my shallowness. As far as that goes, here is my take: Helena Bonham Carter: I love you for channeling your inner '80's Lauper and wearing two different color shoes.
Perhaps it is the advent of scripted reality shows that has made me truly bored with every freakin' overblown Hollywood scandal that makes its way down the pike. Every week they invent a new one and MOST of them are decidedly lacking in creativity. My problem is that most of these glambots on awards shows take themselves so freakin' seriously. Then some wannabe glambot in charge of production hires some "edgy" comedian to host the damn show. Then the glambots get all pissed off because the comedian makes fun of them at the expense of their over-inflated egos. Next thing you know, Tom Cruise is off suing somebody and Angelina Jolie is off adopting another kid and/or saving the world. Yawn. Yawn. So bored. Next.
Stupid controversy in a nutshell: Ricky Gervais told a joke at the Globes which for my money was actually funny and so obviously true. In case you missed it--like I did-- here it goes:
"Two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay – which is the exact opposite of some famous Scientologists ... probably." Gervais added, "My lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke." (Courtesy of TMZ and the television).
I think this was about "Phillip Morris" or "Broke-Back Mountain" or some other Hollywood tome that went for straight actors instead of gay actors, because as everyone knows: There is a HUGE shortage of homosexuals in Tinsel Town. Glambots have actually taken to hiring straight females (eg. Rachel Zoe) to do their shopping for them!!! This crisis situation has only been exacerbated by the deportation of what the locals in La-La Land refer to as "the help". To wit (because I just don't get to say that enough since I stopped working for attorneys):
Robert DeNiro (Or was it Al Pacino? I always get them confused.):
"I'm sorry more members of the foreign press aren't with us tonight, but many were deported right before the show along with most of the waiters. And Javier Bardem." (again courtesy of TMZ and the television.)
Get a freakin' grip. As a six-foot blonde woman it is a little difficult to pass myself off as Asian. People DO notice. The only people I can count on to be completely color-blind is airport security who express such equanimity towards my person that they are inclined to pat me down at every given opportunity. It's a wasted effort, but thank-goodness they aren't bigots!!! Like most of us: I HATE bigots. Especially at the airport, and isn't that what flying is all about?
In short, I am reminded of why I don't watch the stupid self-congratulatory award shows. Watching a bunch of over-indulged, over-paid, privileged people enjoying their privileges is just depressing. I only care about the shoes.