Thursday, March 25, 2010
But Wait! There's More Skanks!
Oh, lawd! I hate it when I am right, but just as I predicted, it's 2010 and the skanks are coming out of the woodwork! Brigitte Daguerre and Melissa Smith have tossed their crotchless panties into the ring as mistresses three and two respectively in the whole Sandra Bullock/Jesse James debacle. Now I have noticed that the first skank who outs a guy gets far more attention than skanks two, three, etc. Being skank number two can get you some notice, but past three as an outed skank and you are venturing into no longer even being a number, but being lumped in the category of "or even more". This pretty much ensures you get at the most a mention in the "unauthorized biography" as an "also ran". Unless, of course, you are outing the president, in which case all bets are off. Outing a president requires some truly special skills I am not prepared to discuss in this forum. (But I could if I wanted to.)
Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, #1 Skank in the Jesse James scandal, so far has my vote for "Skank of the Year: 2010". First off: She makes me want to pull out a can of Lysol and it takes a lot to get me to want to clean. She dazzled us with being the opportunistic uber-whore that she is by timing Jesse James' outing with Sandra Bullock's Oscar win. That shows some major whoremanship. Listen, this dame has more balls than Tiger Woods, John Edwards and Jesse James put together. Then, just as I think she may be a PR genius (although she only got $30,000 for the story, but I guess you have to start somewhere) out come the pictures of her in Nazi regalia. Holy crap! Just how the hell do you do that sort of thing and not think: "Hm. This might come back and bite me in the ass."? Aside from being morally reprehensible, which we know hasn't bothered Michelle up to this point, it's just stoopid. Her excuse is that the photographer handed her the props. WTF??? What IS the thought process here -- "He collects WWII memorabilia and I was just holding his stuff so he could take pictures of it for insurance purposes."?
Now, out of the current crop of skanks, and there are so many, I am not even sure why Brigette Daguerre (Jesse James #3 Skank, in case you are trying to keep up) decided to participate. I guess she didn't want to feel left out, but her heart just doesn't seem to be in it. She claims she only slept with Jesse 3 or 4 times, but got over 190 "secret" text messages from him, now of course they are not so secret. She actually seems to feel bad about it, but if that were truly the case I sort of think she would have kept it to herself.
All the while, the celebrity news shows keep replaying that sweet moment where Jesse James tears-up at the Oscars after Sandra Bullock's big win. Who knew then where this was all headed?