As hurricane/tropical storm Issac looms somewhere off the coast of Florida, I feel I have a duty to inform the public of what those vague catagories of hurricanes actually mean. Here we go:
Tropical Storm: I can't believe this wasn't a named storm. It was much worse than ___________ (fill in name of Category 1 hurricane back in ____ (year).
Category One: I hope the cable and internet don't go down.
Category Two: Oh, crap! Not the cable, internet AND the electricity. What is all that crap my neighbors have doing in my pool?
Category Three: What is my neighbor's roof doing in my pool?
Category Four: Oh crap! We should have left town.
Category Five: Write out your will and testimony. Put it in a Ziploc bag. You're toast.