Saturday, October 30, 2010
Halloween is STILL Sunday
Just a couple more Halloween related issues before finish setting-up for the holiday:
1. Enough already with one more stupid controversy. Of all the dumb-ass things to be worried about the people in this area are now all spun-up about Halloween being on a Sunday. I became aware of this about a month before Halloween LAST year. If you haven't made-up your minds about this matter yet, do us all a favor and DON'T freakin' celebrate it AT ALL. Rumor has it that locally children may be trick-or-treating TONIGHT -- SATURDAY -- which just chaps my ass. Look, I don't get dressed-up like Elvira and show-up at your church on Easter Sunday, so politely STAY HOME and keep the kids there with you. (They probably need to catch-up on some home schooling any way.) These kids show-up on my doorstep tonight and they will be getting the B-List candy. If I wasn't too lazy to run to the store -- AGAIN -- they'd be getting nothing but those sorry ass "Smarties". As it is, if they want a Snickers bar they can come by here on the right damn date. I'm not running the fog machine or strobe lights until tomorrow night, either. If you want "Halloween Lite" I will give you "Halloween Freakin' Lite."
2. You dentists and other spoil sports out there offering to trade in children's trick-or-treat candy for money, I have got a beef with you, too. We all know you are paying off the children, going into the back room stuffing your mouths full of Twizzlers and Baby Ruth bars. You aren't fooling anybody. Stop sucking the joy out of and be content to fill the subsequent fillings. Children will have to worry about calories and fat soon enough -- give them one night for a little fun. Nobody pulls this sort of business with Christmas. You want a nutritional nightmare -- pass the pecan pie and egg nog!!!