Thursday, July 29, 2010

How Does It Feel to Breed One of the Beautiful People?

The picture you see to the left is NOT a picture of Greg Hodge the U.S. Managing director of I couldn't find a copyright free picture of this bozo to share with you. You see Greg has a problem. It seems Greg, and the people like him at, are so damn pretty people want their sperm. He was bitching about this on CNN's "The Joy Behar Show": Apparently this is a big problem, and Greg and his people have come up with a solution and that is to graciously share their pretty eggs and sperm with the less fortunate. Once I picked myself up off the floor from laughing so hard, I made it my mission to go to: site to get the skinny and bring it back here. This is the kind of shit I live for. What a huge disappointment that they are currently not allowing "visitors" because of "recent publicity" on the site. Apparently, A LOT of uglies are in need of spermatozoa!

So, I will have to discuss these people without having access to their site, as I am both happily married, and not in the market for sperm or eggs. Denied access I will have to resort to making a few observations about these narcissistic benefactors of beautiful off-spring. First of all, they take themselves REALLY seriously. Being pretty is really hard and fairly humorless. Secondly, before you can say "Lebensborn" we (The average-to-ugly set. If you are reading this and are one of the "beautiful people", you will know because you are moving your lips.) need to wake-up and realize that being one of them is just better.

I have always made it a policy to never date a guy who was prettier than me. Not that my husband, the Bulldog isn't absolutely adorable, but I am vain and there is nothing worse than fighting some guy for space in front of the mirror. It's just SO unmanly. I was raised with stupid ideas like "Beauty is only skin deep", "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or "Beauty fades, dumb is forever". (You know -- all the stuff they tell ugly people to help them get over it.) My parents clearly missed the boat on this one, and once again, were remiss in preparing me to complete in the real world. So not only did I learn to appreciate good-looking people I was taught to find beauty in other things such as talent, brains, humor, compassion, courage, ethics, honor, virtue and the ability to make farty noises with your arm-pit. Seriously, when we think of people we truly, truly love, is the first thing that pops into our head is whether or not they are physically beautiful? My husband is currently a deployed soldier, and right now I can't imagine a face more beautiful than his.

We all appreciate beauty, but there is so much that can be considered beautiful. Francis Bacon once said: "There is no beauty without some strangeness in the proportion." Ain't it the truth?

1 comment:

  1. Love this post! And LOVE your quote at the end!