Saturday, July 17, 2010

Arturo's New Hairdo



My cats are assholes. Make that three of my cats are assholes. Little Arturo (Fuente), an adorable nine-month old kitten, was having a few issues grooming his butt. This led to a series of unfortunate mats. At first I tried clipping them out, but they started to multiply like dust bunnies during shedding season. Arty was also getting just a little miffed with my persistent attempts to brush his behind. In an attempt to maintain my peaceful kingdom and make life easier for myself I decided to take Arty to the groomer to get a lion cut.

I carted him over to the groomer early Friday morning. When I returned home sans Arturo, the other cats looked somewhat anxious as to what had happened to Arty. Lew (Rothman), Arturo's brother seemed the most concerned. He parked himself in front of the door waiting, I supposed, for his brother's return. "How sweet!" I thought. "He already misses his brother."

However, when I brought Arturo home with his new hairdo, all hell broke loose. First Eddy got a little huffy with Arty. Eddy is not smart, so this wasn't much of a surprise. Her response to just about any change is to hiss first and ask questions later. Patsy just sort of ignored him and hissed only when Arturo tried to rub-up against her. Lew, ARTURO'S OWN BROTHER, was the nastiest of all. Growling, hissing and raising a fuss generally reserved for shows like "When Animals Attack" instead of living rooms in suburban Atlanta. What I thought was a simple haircut has escalated into an all out turf war. Nobody is happy at Kelleywood. Least of all yours truly. No matter how much I try telling them "Change Is Good", the cats are not having any part of it.

Poor, poor Arty. Ostracised for being different. I had no idea that a new hairdo would send my household into this much of a panic. I feel sort of guilty, but I believe there is room for diversity at Kelleywood. The cats, however, are not having ANY part of it. Do you think they could be Republicans?


  1. Oh my gosh! Did you really do this to your cat? I am so in love with the new look!

  2. Yes, I really did this. Well, groomer did it. You know I like to pay people to do my dirty work for me whenever it's possible. It's the "Lion Cut". Or as my friend calls it: A poodle-cat! Arturo wanted to get "F*ck U" painted on his nails, but I had to draw the line somewhere.