Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Beauty IS a Beast: Toddlers and Tiaras Returns!


After a brief break in the broadcasts of two of my favorite reality televisions series "Toddlers and Tiaras" and "Little Miss Perfect", which I tend to think of as the same thing, "Toddlers and Tiaras" returned this evening for a fresh new season. This disturbing foray into the peculiar parallel universe (train wreck) that is the child beauty pageant world did not disappoint. It was almost worth the wait.

Enter one four-year old girl named MaKenzie. Clearly MaKenzie had long ago seized control of her household and was moving-on to take over the pageant world. It was obvious her parents were afraid of her. Hell, even I was a little afraid of her. As one little pageant girl put it: "I didn't like MaKenzie; she tried to bite me." I suspect there is a lot of metaphorical back-biting in the pageant world, but I got the feeling MaKenzie's biting was pretty much the real deal. With a gravely voice that sounded like she'd been smoking a pack-a-day for the past twenty years, MaKenzie clenched a pacifier ("ni-ni" she called it) between her teeth and growled commands at everybody. If ni-ni went missing, there was hell to pay for everybody concerned. MaKenzie treated ni-ni with the same kind of regard a crackhead has for a pipe. It was truly a sight to behold. Pageant people refer to such behavior from pageant girls as being a "diva" or a "firecracker". Some, like me, would call it being a brat. MaKenzie was pretty much the poster child for corporal punishment. If she hadn't been a four-year-old, I would have said: "Someone phone hell. Satan is missing a soul."

6 comments:

  1. What kind of people are these parents churning out? They obviously don't care, do they?

    Awful.

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  2. I want to see this program. It's sounds like a train wreck you just can't turn away from.

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  3. Pageant culture is a parallel universe, but I hope MaKenzie's parents will watch this and GET A CLUE. Maybe it was carefully edited sensationalism, but I have serious concerns about exploiting a four year-old child for entertainment purposes. Even my own. I am a cat person, but holy crap, even I could tell this kid was a MESS!

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  4. I love it! I watched this one last night too...and this particular little one gave me a freaking fright! It was so obvious even her own mommy didn't like her! lol

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  5. I love that kid!!! I think she should have her own reality show. Go Makensie!!

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  6. Perhaps if Makensie lands her own reality show her Mom and Dad will be able to afford some desperately needed parenting classes, or at least a Valium.

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