Sunday, December 20, 2009

Chia Pet Consumer Alert

Once again it is that time of year when Walgreen's shelves fill with the most beloved of worthless gifts: The Chia Pet. This year there is a new variation on the Chia Pet theme, which promises to be even more worthless than the average Chia Pet, the Cat Chia. Featuring Warner Brother's lovable Sylvester the Cat and Tweety Bird, the Cat Chia will provide kitty with a tasty grass treat. Who came up with the whole cats-like-to-eat-grass-thing? I tried raising cat grass once. It didn't go well. I carefully tended the bowl of grass, waiting for the day when kitty would graze on this delicacy and look to me, her loyal owner, with big-eyed, kitty cat gratitude. I planted the cat grass. I watered the cat grass. The cat grass grew. The cat remained unmoved. The same cat that had tried to chow down on any floral arrangement, poisonous plant, or leaf dragged in on the bottom of my shoe, wanted nothing to do with the cat grass. I tried shoving it under her nose. She didn't sniff it, she didn't paw at it, she didn't even try to poop in the dirt. She ignored it. She walked away. Kitty just didn't care. Cat grass? Are you kidding? What did I think she was after all, a cow? Then I recognized the foolishness of the endeavor: Cat grass is nothing but bowl of weeds. I was shoving a bowl of weeds under her nose and expecting her to eat it. Had I lost my mind? Lesson learned: If you want to make your cat happy, crack open a can of tuna.

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