American Idol: DOA?

Does "American Idol" suck this year or what? Simon Cowell seems so half-assed about his last year on the show he might as well phone in his performance. He gives the impression he just wants to get it all over with so he can go home and take a handful of Viagra and boogie-down with his new fiance. Kara DioGuardi is downright annoying, as she was last year (apparently nobody noticed), and could she please stop whining: "Oh, I just don't know..." when she thinks some body's performance sucks? O.K., girlfriend can write a song, but Kara is just so boring. Ellen's comments seemed canned, as if written by someone else for especially for the show. The only one whose opinion is remotely interesting is Randy Jackson, after he is finished there is just no point to the critiques.

It doesn't help that this year's line-up is uniquely lacking in talent. Crystal Bowersox and Sioban (Sounds like "Cinnabon" and makes me hungry, but that could just be because I am on a diet...) Magnus can't even save the train wreck that is Season 9. We should have all seen this coming when a bunch of 12 year-olds elected that Milquetoast Kris Allen (also known as what's-his-name) as last year's winner. After last week's dreadful show, I don't know if I can sit through another ten minutes of my formerly beloved AI. It's like it has become that person you really liked a long time ago, that you see again and they look like that person, but NOTHING is there. I don't know how the rest of the country feels, but last week for me was akin to nails on a chalkboard and that was just the music. Thank goodness for the remote so I could channel surf through the judges' comments. Just get it over with, enough already! Toss a coin between Magnus and Bowersox and call it a day. Let's move on!

Could I possibly be missing Paula Abdul? Surely not. Maybe I am just missing the shows in the past where talent could be inconsistent, but was at least interesting. Now all I feel is a big: "Who cares?" I am actually thinking of watching the "Dancing With the Stars" results show tonight instead AI. Was Paula that big of deal, or does the show just suck that much this year? Maybe it was just that little annoying little chipmunk Miley Cyrus who was on last week. Or could it be that AI is just lumbering on to its inevitable demise, crushed by it's own misguided hubris? Could it be that the only person who will truly enjoy AI this year is Paula Abdul? So far, it hasn't been me.