Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Visible Panty Line -- Friend or Menace?

While watching an "E!" special on the top "fashion don'ts" I was astonished to see that the number one "fashion don't" was VPL or "Visible Panty Line".  Personally, I don't mind seeing a little VPL.  I find it comforting to know that someone has enough sense to put their underpants on.  I think Brittany Spears was one of the first to shoot us the beav while getting out of the car.  Too much information, if you ask me.  Pretty soon, celebs across the world were forgetting to put on their underpants.  This is why so many of them have had to hire stylists.  They needed someone who says:  "Did you put on your panties?"  A whole industry has sprung-up around celebs not being able to dress themselves.  Celebs are not like us -- if they shoot the beav while getting out of the car they should at least have someone they can blame for the faux pas.  They are CELEBRITIES after all -- they have more pressing matters on their minds than underpants.  That is why they have "people".

Sadly, now that VPL is the biggest "fashion don't" ever, the line-free look has trickled-down into street-level wear.  The results have been tragic.  In the quest to remain VPL free I spyed a young, but large woman, wearing a pair of pants with the word "Juicy" predominantly displayed on the back of her ass while I was at the OBGYN.  The pants not only proudly displayed every wrinkle of cellulite this woman had, but her thong was on display for all too see.  The thong, instead of giving her the usual VPL had divided her ample behind into four separate entities, which for all the world looked like hot cross buns.  To make matters worse, she was at least eight months pregnant.  It was then I said a brief prayer thanking the good Lord that my mother never wore a pair of pants that said "Juicy" across the behind.

Now the male equivalent of the thong-on-display (TOD) is the pants-on-the-ground look which has already been so eloquently discussed by that guy on "American Idol".  I once saw a young boy, trying to look gangsta' by wearing his swim trunks swung low, expose his entire "bizness" when the trunks became water-logged and slid of his behind.

I have to disagree with my beloved "E!".  I find seeing a little VPL comforting, but then again I am prone to to wax nostalgic.
(And, I am not talkin' Brazilian...)

1 comment:

  1. Joanna, I just stumbled in here, and I have been laughing my way through your archives. But THIS post, I just had to applaud! THANK YOU!!