Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Call IT a Snuggie or a Slanket -- IT Must Be Stopped!
I don't care what the hell they call it a "Snuggie" or a "Slanket" the damn thing is an ill-fitting, backwards robe and I am not buying it. The thing is ubiquitous and likely to become more so the closer we get to the holiday season. Just when I thought this ridiculous thing couldn't get more ridiculous there is now a new commercial to the tune of "The Macarena". Dumb-ass, happy people dancing around in their Snuggies doing that equally ridiculous idiotic dance, made even MORE popular by one U.S. Olympic Gymnastics team. Those girls were doing back flips on a five inch wide board, but what everyone was SO thrilled about was that they did that idiotic dance. A chimpanzee could master the macarena. (No offense to the chimp.) Not only are these damn Snuggie-Slanket things taking over ALL the shelf space at my local CVS, squeezing out the important stuff like the Pedi-Egg, Chia Pets and knock-off Crocs, much to my chagrin I have found out that there is an entire subculture dedicated to these stupid things.
There is a Snuggie with a pocket so you can keep your beer warm.
Searching for a photo to go with this blog, I stumbled upon a giant photo of Morrisey on a blanket a a girl contemplating how to turn it into a Snuggie to wear to a concert. There ought to be a law.
There are Snuggies for your dog. Here we see a helpless dachshund trying to get away from it.
If that wasn't enough animal cruelty for you, now they are trying to make CATS wear the damn thing. Doesn't he look happy?
There are scary Slankets.
As it the Burger King wasn't scary enough on his own.
There is a whole CULT dedicated to this ridiculous thing and it needs to be stopped. NOW.
I am going to tell you the truth about the Snuggie/Slanket or whatever they want to call it. First: It's an ill-fitting, backwards blanket without a belt. They can't sell it as a robe because if you don't take it off when you get up to do something it becomes a safety hazard. Secondly: Your relatives bought this for you because they forgot all about you at Christmas and just HAD to give you something. The truck stop was on the way to your house. Thirdly: If you bought it for yourself -- I CAN'T HELP YOU.
Here is what I think of the Snuggie: