Patron Saint of the Talent-Free

One major indication that the end of the world is on its way is the meteoric rise of the artist known as "Lady Gaga". Lady Gaga, in case you have missed it (and really, how could you?) is the unholy result of giving people too much self-esteem. Perhaps the world needs Lady Gaga, because after hearing Kelly Clarkson lay down a few tracks, who would have the nerve to show-up at "American Idol" auditions EXCEPT talented people? What a snore that would be -- nothing but talented people singing -- just like at the end of the season. Lady Gaga took an astonishing lack of talent, wrested it away from reality television, and brought it back to the world of pop music, thereby giving hope that with enough desperation and attention seeking behavior, even the talent-free can make it big, without having been born to famous parents, or doing porno, or having a modicum of talent. MTV has declared Gaga "Woman of the Year". Things weren't always so easy for Gaga. She appeared desperate for attention on this year's "VMA Awards" show. Poor Gaga was working it for all she was worth. She bravely tarted herself up in one bizarre fashion disaster after the next, culminating in the grand finale: Gaga suspended herself from a rope, stabbed herself, and bled all over her white costume. It was an obvious, unabashed attempt to push the limits of taste and an stir-up some controversy for herself. It was exhausting to behold. It would have worked, too, but it was all for naught. Tragedy struck in one brief moment when a drunken Kanye West opened his fat trap and sucked-up all the controversy for himself. Poor Gaga. All that work for nothing. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost, but then I remember my friends eight year-old cheerfully singing the words to "Poker Face" and I didn't feel so bad.