Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Black Friday Blues

Buy More Stuff, Black Friday 2009
There are two types of people: Those who love Black Friday and those who hate Black Friday. I don't think there are many people out there who are indifferent to the event. For some it is the thrill of the hunt, the big kick-off to the wonderful holiday season. Personally, I can't think of any item I want so badly that I would be willing to stand in a parking lot at three-o'clock in the morning waiting for some store to open. I love a bargain as much as the next girl, but Black Friday is pretty much my idea of hell. This year Black Friday is getting an even earlier kick-off with some stores starting on Thanksgiving day. You can actually pull an all-nighter of shopping at Walmart.

All the ads, all the deals, all the bru-ha-ha gives me an anxiety attack -- but the Target woman in the red jogging suit with high heels raises my blood pressure about five points every time I see her. Who came up with this ad? Shout out to Target: That woman makes me want to get as far away from the freakin' store as possible. In fact, she makes me want to hide under the bed AND NEVER GO SHOPPING AGAIN. I thought after last year we'd seen that last of Target woman, but like the Chia Pet, she is back for the holidays in yet another incarnation. She makes the Burger King mascot look loveable and that guy totally gives me the creeps. As if the holidays aren't annoying and stressful enough, we have to watch an endless barrage of ads featuring this completely irritating woman. I guess Target wants to convince us that the real meaning of Christmas is competing with other shoppers for the really great deals, but somehow I doubt snatching that last mark-down out of your neighbor's hands is the true meaning of Christmas. Seriously, it REALLY isn't how I want to spend my holidays.

I worked retail sales on many a Black Friday, I really don't remember that many customers showing-up at these weird hours of the morning. When they did, it was just for the one really great item, which the store was usually taking a loss on. Yet stores insist on these crazy hours. Maybe it is just all be for all of the free media attention because EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN' year, you can depend on the media to run a blitz of stories on holiday mob scenes and the ensuing traffic jams.

There is holiday habit I picked-up from working retail: I finish most of my shopping BEFORE Black Friday. It's not because I am efficient, it is because I hate the shopping lunacy that accompanies the holidays. So, when Black Friday rolls around, I ignore the ads, sit back with a cup of coffee and hope to hell Target isn't running THOSE commercials.


  1. OK, I'm sorry but I have to speak up for the Target Lady. I love her. Maybe because I know someone who looks a lot like her and was slightly spastic, so I feel like I'm watching my friend Sandy on TV. And I hate to say it, but I love the creepy Burger King king, too. He's a good example of something that is so horrid and you hate it so much that it makes a complete full circle back to cool and I love it.

    I don't do Black Friday either. I'm stuck in the house containing leftovers and washing dishes from Thanksgiving. These people who can go shopping at 4 a.m., they obviously are not cooking for and hosting dozens of people. Selfish bitches.

  2. Selfish bitches is right. I think they are intentionally AVOIDING Thankgiving preparation so they CAN go sit in a parking lot at 3:00. If Thanksgiving was ANY good, one SHOULD one of two things: 1. Be nursing a hangover or 2. Still recovering from exhaustion from preparing dinner for all those drunks.